There is obviously now doubt that the Roma community has got its fair share of traumatic events throughout history. Starting with the events leading up to the original exodus from Northern India, the experience of living as a diaspora, trying to find a space in a medieval feudal Europe organised by strict guilds, persecution of the outsider leading up to the horrors of the holocaust (Porajmos as it is called when referring to the Roma persecution ) But the persecution did not stop there. It continues until this day. There are various states condemned by the European Court of Human Rights for severe violations against the human Rights of the Romani people.
We are talking about severe cases of coerced sterilisation, children places in orphanages, Romani children automatically placed in schools for the disabled without any previous examination, UN romani camps on lead poisoned grounds etc. etc.. I am sure you as a reader can think of many more serious violations against the Human Rights and dignities of the Romani people. We cold go on and on and I don’t think there is any country on earth that has been a safe sanctuary for the Romani people. So yes, there is more then plenty of events that has led up to generational trauma, but, and here comes my most important point, trauma is also an individual response to all that we have lived through. Hence it is also something we can heal each one of us in our own lives. Here lies the power to heal that is inherent in all of us.
“Trauma is not what happened to you, but what happens inside of you as a result of what happened to you.” Trauma doctor Gabor Maté
This means that each one of us has the power to take our fates into our own hands. Does that sound cynical to you? It did to me when I was working on Human Rights analysing case after case of severe violations against the Romani population. This was also not just an abstract intellectual exercise for me. I have felt it on my own skin and in every cell of my body. I was once myself that little child ripped away from my own family and places in an orphanage and later into an abusive foster family where I was told every day that I was just a dirty little gypsy girl, who should be happy to even be given any food. My own mother was one of the last Romani women forcibly sterilised in Sweden. I grew up being called asphalt for being so black (in the eyes of the observer), during my entire school years I was constantly called into the director’s office and being blamed for all sorts of absurdities that even I with all my phantasy could not have thought about. All because I was a Romani girl. Obviously, it has continued and still does to some extent until this day. So yes, the events are real and factual, easy to document and pinpoint.
The paradox is though, that that what has happened inside of us, the trauma that we all live with, is not that objective, factual and easy to pinpoint. The trauma plays out deep inside our psyche, inside our unconsciousness and our bodies. It is there in the murk dark waters. In the inexplicable illnesses, the pains, the addictions, the nervousness. It is there in how we fail to care for ourselves, look after our loved ones and trust our neighbours. (You might now say, why should we and how could we trust our neighbours? And I will tell you why later) The trauma lives there, deep inside of our subconsciousness and it is also there it can be met and healed. Yes, it can be healed. And because it is yours, only you alone can heal this. We all need help on the way, and we need to find the right spaces where we can start to meet the pain inside of us, but ultimately it is only you alone that can do this. And it is your personal choice to go there.
Healing trauma is long and messy work. But it is worth it. You will come out stronger on the other side. And no erection of any monuments, history books about the violations against us, minority support or monetary compensation will ever be able to do the work for you. Yes, that is the bittersweet truth. Don’t get me wrong, these things are necessary as well. Just like every organ in the body is needed so is every step towards reconciliation and peace, but you will not be able to profit from any of these things if you don’t do your internal work and heal yourself first. I have seen so much compensation money being gulped down as hard alcohol, minority congregations and associations mostly end up in corruption and mutual disrespect, since each one is trying to hold onto this thin thread of external recognition. I have seen it with my own eyes so often over the years. Recognition of historical facts is important to put your individual suffering into context, but it is not enough.
We need to go deeper. We need to really recognise the pain that lives deep within us. We need to see our own dysfunction. Not with judgemental eyes, but with the clarity and knowledge all the research about how trauma actually works has shown us in recent years. When we understand that addiction is a perfectly efficient way to numb out pain, we can start to find compassion for ourselves, and this is the first step towards healing. When we start to understand the correlation between stress and obesity, it does no longer come down to your personal lack of willpower or discipline why the unhealthy kilos keep piling on. When we understand how the body stores traumatic events and converts them into illness we can start to reverse these developments. And each one of us, who manages to look deep inside ourselves and start to heal, step by step not only doing so for ourselves, but also for future generations to come.
This for me is the Opre Roma! (Stand up Roma) We can no longer sit around and wait. Wait for recognition, compensation and talk talk talk. And yes, I know it might sound harsh, but we have to take our own lives into our own hands. This is what true empowerment is. It does not come from outside; it comes from within. Once you start to see and heal your own wounds, you become whole again. The word trauma comes from Greek and means wound. We carry deep wounds, and we need to focus on healing them. Hate has a powerful energy, but it does not heal your wounds. It makes them even deeper. It makes us even more vulnerable, since it will inevitably fill our bodies with stress and inflammation. We don’t need any more of that. And that’s where the trusting your neighbour comes in. We need to trust for the sake of our own health. Whatever bad comes our way, we will be more able to look it straight into the face from a position of inner strength and health. That is why we need to take radical responsibility and try to heal ourselves.
The Romani population is already flooded with illness and dysfunction. We need to learn to listen to our pain, find ways to alchemise our pain into an anything healthy, art, dance, song, writing, walking in the forest, whatever your personal outlet might be, and you will see that you’ll find yourself again. This is what I have decided to dedicate this part if my life to now. I have left the academia behind. I am of course thankful for all the work done by academia, but I found my role in helping people heal from trauma and find a way of life that feels authentic to them the place where I have the most influence. And trust me, I have seen people heal from the most horrendous forms of abuse. We will always carry scars, but we can carry the as medals of wisdom. That is what I want for the Roma population going forward. So for now Opre Roma! Start taking small, small steps towards your own personal healing, find all the help you can. When you heal yourself you heal your ancestors, you heal your children’s children and to me that is the true Romani identity. But you have to do the work. Let’s do this together.
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